Breathe

Shot by Charlie V. Antonio

I've been breathing my entire life, but I just realized how much I suck at it. Even as I type, my tense neck and shoulders keep my breaths weak and shallow. I feel like it's a bad habit leaving me dazed most of the time. When I do take a complete breath, I feel my body reawaken; but it's only temporary as my weak and shallow breaths take over quickly afterwards.

I don't really know how my breathing affects my performance, but I do know it's 2018. As the clock ticks forward, life only gets stranger. I don't know if this is just a phase that everyone goes through, but I can only imagine the emptiness that awaits. One reason for this is I may have given up on a "supposed" joy in life because it's my weakness. I learned that it may be impossible to overcome and figured it was pointless to really try because it didn't really make me happy. With the path I'm taking, I am not sure when I can really be happy. This is because my path seems to be a very difficult one that nobody recommends. Or maybe my path is simple, and I'm just terrible at it. I'm just not so sure anymore.

Writing here has been tough for me, because most of the time I don't know what to write about. My shortness of breath keeps me in a daze and probably forces me to sleep when I don't have to. Everyone is almost gone now and all I can think about is the inevitable. 

Why am I so fucked?

 I am going to force myself to take full breaths from now on and I suggest that you do the same.