I have a couple of free months to get my stuff back together. However, in order to move forward, not only do I have to organize my room but also my head. I will break it down easily for you guys so it could be understood.
After a year load of work and punishment, I got tired. I needed a break, maybe a day maybe a week, but I needed something. I cannot go on working with no direction because that is stupid. I needed to rethink my thinking process and streamline it. My mind is like a piece of code. Right now, it has convoluted pieces of code which is preventing me from moving forward. During the process of the break, I rethink everything and figure out my end-goal and direction. As of now I am doing a good job because I have been re-organizing the way I think so I could get things done faster. It might not make any sense now but it works. Once my head is clear and ready to work, I will be faster then ever and will be able to surpass anyone. It is just part of the process. Once this goal is complete, I will be able to get back to my old habits and just blow away everyone that doubted me.
The only thing preventing me from re-organizing everything is some close people. They are closed-minded and do not understand any process. They believe that everyone works 24/7 and produces good work. They believe that a person that does not work for a second would lose their standing in this world. It is simply not true. I have suffered a lot lately, but I have learned and gained the experience already. I have already built a mental system that prevents myself from going back into that state of mind. This is an incredible self-achievement and it works.
I do not only need to organize my mind but also my body. Without the proper amount of sleep and nourishment, I will never be able to have enough energy to do anything. From setting up a system in my mind, I will force myself to start sleeping earlier. I believe that my mind will discipline my body and will get me to bed earlier so I wouldn't have to face a problem which I faced last year. I will be able to be more attentive and more sharp when I am awake.
Good body nourishment and body exercise is good too because I will be able to keep up with the rest without any problems. I need to boost up my stamina and this would also help me keep my discipline level at a high. Once my body is well, I won't have any problems with this department and would be able to focus on more important aspects of my life.
Emotions are for the weak minded. If I am to lose myself like I have last year, then I would be at a point of no return. Part of the process is setting a standard and a direction for myself. The emotions shouldn't be a part anywhere inside me or else I will become weak like the rest. I will not have to deal with any problems, but I would listen. I will understand and take best actions when asked unnecessary questions.
I don't want to say that I defeated depression, but I have suppressed it to a point where I don't care anymore about it. This is a good thing because if I don't care, then nothing could happen. If nothing could happen then I am safe-guarded from this part of the problem. I do not need others to help me in this area even though I might because I have developed a system to solve these problems myself. It might be a sad way to think of it, but it should work.
These are only the basic changes. I will change my attitude to life and everything that could positively impact myself. Things will be different and I will keep you guys updated. I may be lying to myself about all these changes, but I always hope for the best. The best always come to you eventually.
In the United States, you wait for bus.
In Soviet Russia, Bus waits for you!