Sunday, December 25, 2016


It's that time of year again and I still have nothing to show. I've noticed my progress slowing down, and I'm not sure if it's natural or if it's just me. I've have a feeling it's just me and I'm just letting myself down again.

I want to be the best at what I do, because I just want to prove to myself that I can. I want to be so good that it allows me to live how I want to live. It's really all I care about in lifeFreedom. I'm not talking about freedom in my later years. I am talking about freedom now and forever. Every decision I make will affect me now and in the long run. It's all about making the right decisions and these days, we not only have to grind hard but grind smart.  It's not just about putting in the work anymore; It's about staying focused too.

It's not easy to be focused and if it were, everyone would be the best. I couldn't help comparing myself to others recently and I knew this was a waste of time. How the fuck can I be focused if I'm thinking of some fucker who's better than me? I need to remind myself that, there will always be someone who is better, so I can get back to working towards my dreams. I need to tell myself that it doesn't matter how others are because I can't control it. I can only control myself and that is what matters.

The moment I realize that the only thing that really matters is myself will be the moment I can finally focus.

Monday, November 7, 2016

The Eighth of November

What happens in tomorrow's election will change the future of America and will be one of the most important events in the 21st century. This election is much more than just two unpopular candidates and their gender. It is a war against globalism, corruption, and the status quo. Americans have become soft from the years of brainwashing from the corrupt media and are sick of it.

The movement began with Ron Paul and has now shifted to a man named Donald J. Trump. Like him or not, he is our last hope for real change and I can only hope enough Americans have awoken to fight the evils that lie ahead.

Tuesday, September 13, 2016


"The Dream" taken in Italy
Whenever you dream, you tend to forget it as soon as you wake up unless you really put in an effort to remembering. This is how I feel right now. I just woke up and didn't even know what my dream was. I probably should have wrote it down.

My dream is over, and I have nothing and everything. What do I mean?

I have to be real with myself to keep improving so let's be real. The most crucial four years of my youth have amounted to absolutely nothing. As I mentioned, I moved backwards and may have failed. However, I did learn a lot about myself in those years and that should, probably not, count for something. I don't care if my approach was reckless because I can't change the past. The only thing I can change is tomorrow.

Reality has hit me below the belt and I have to take it. I must deal with my decisions because they are my responsibilities. It just hurts so much to be wrong and to be constantly berated on doing the things I want. Those who do berate do it in good faith, and I believe that; but only I know what's best for me. The only problem is, what the fuck do I know? I'm just a boy.

As far as my life goes, it would seem that I really have it made and I hate it. I want to make it from the bottom, but it doesn't work like that. My chances of success are much better up here so fine. I will use that to my advantage instead of being a bitch.

I'm going to have a new dream, but this time I'll write it down.

Thursday, March 31, 2016


I wrote this blog for me and anyone who is crazy enough to tag along. Every post represents a snapshot of my state of mind in a particular point in time. I write whenever I need to self-reflect and I thank anyone who takes their time to read my thoughts. My only hope is that it is worth your time. It's funny, because I am only a distraction if this blog wastes your time. So I encourage anyone who find this blog a waste of time to leave for your own good. I want you to forge your own path of success and to be able to tell everyone to fuck off.

Here are for those of you who find this blog somewhat useful:

This blog is directionless like my life. It is all over the place with my pointless thoughts and rambling. There is no focus. I've been working tirelessly for the past year to better myself and everything came tumbling down this week. I don't know what it is, but my mind has just shut down and refuses to do what I want to do. The craziest thing is that whenever I think about it, I don't even know what to do. 

Is that how you are feeling now?

Well, here's my plan:

I will take a step back and evaluate my situation. I must remember what is important and work towards it. Time is a major factor and I must not waste it. I must continue to do what works and discard what doesn't. I must be persistent.

It is the only way to succeed.

Sunday, January 31, 2016


Distractions are everywhere, news, sports, and even the internet itself. How much time have you wasted catching up with your favorite sport's teams? How much time have you wasted watching the news? How much time have you wasted binge watching videos on YouTube? I know I wasted many hours doing all these and started to realize that it has done nothing but waste my time and energy. Time and energy are valuable resources and should only be devoted to the things that MATTER.

The only people who should be focused on those mentioned above are the people who make a living off them. Are you making money by betting on teams? Fine! Are you a program manager at NBC and are forced to watch the news to see if it's good? Great! Are you making money by watching random YouTube videos? Fantastic! If you don't do any of those and are poor, then it's a waste of time. These are only a few of the many distractions that are out there. Anything that doesn't help you achieve your goals is a DISTRACTION.

How many hours are wasted  reading these answers?

We have been seduced folks.

The problem has grown bigger than I have ever imagined. Marketers have figured us out and are stealing our time and energy. It's evil in plain sight and we have welcomed it into our lives. We have grown so used to it that we even enjoy it. It's time to recognize and reject these evils.

It's time to focus.

Monday, December 28, 2015

I am Dead

It's almost the end of December and I haven't written a single word. No "Merry Christmas," no "Happy New Year," nothing. It's because I stayed busy, or I ran out of things to say. Either way I'm beginning to become an actions speaks louder than words kind of guy. I've stayed silent with my activities because anything I say doesn't mean shit until I succeed. I feel disgusted even bringing it up because I haven't accomplished a god damn thing.

I recently came across someone I knew and he said jokingly "I thought you were dead." Not a very nice thing to say, but I don't blame him because he later added "everyone thinks you're dead." It's what I expected for being a recluse for the past three years. I took a risk to walk the path least taken and now the risks have become ever so apparent. In one year, most of my class will have secured their bachelors degree. In one year, some of my class will have secured $100k/year jobs. In one year, my classmates and my parents will start to question my sanity and I will still have nothing to show.

My life is beginning to look more and more depressing, but I have no regrets. It's the risk I've taken to win and there's no looking back. I can only move forward and if I die, I die. But at least I'd die a fool than a sheep.

Friday, August 21, 2015

Brush It Off

 Everyday is a struggle and I've been fucking up. I'm a loser and very undisciplined. I tell myself to do something and when shit hits the fan I just revert to my old ways.  I am lying to myself.

What the fuck am I really doing? 
Do I really want to fuck up on the only thing that I might be descent at?
Am I fucking around too much?
Should I go back to school and try being like everyone else?
Am I really improving?

Asking these questions really hurts because I truly want to make it. However, I'm holding myself back from achieving what I want to achieve. I need to ask myself if I am serious because it doesn't feel like it at this point. I find myself joking around and having a grand old time and I am sick of it. WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING?

Just thinking about it has brought a wave of negativity around me. I get fucking voices in my head screaming at me.

"You can't do it"
"Fuck you"
"You are dead"

I just gotta brush it off. To get what I want, I have to stop thinking about all the bullshit and focus. I must stay calm. I must figure out what I am doing wrong and fix it. I need to stop fucking around and actually get with the program. All this negative thinking is what is causing the problem. It is a distraction from what is important. I need to know about the problem, fix the problem, and move on as fast as possible.

In order to solve my problem, I need to do things the right way. There are many ways to solve a problem and some ways take longer than others. I must find the best and fastest way if I am going to make it.

Simple as that.