Sorry I haven't been posting as much. There was a major event during the weekend.
So, I have read the comment made by an anonymous person in Finding Out. I have to say that he may be absolutely right about being happy and dumb. I have also re-read my post responding to it Being Good Actor of Life?. I think that I have been sort of a hypocrite of my own sayings and older theories. The result of being happy is the level you must go down to be happy with another. Some people these days, especially in my area do not think about the hardships and the idea of being alone in the world. They view it as a nice and happy place. They may be surprised in the future but I feel a bit sad.
First, I know what they don't, but I do not want them to get hurt. They will most likely find out themselves, but most of them would probably survive. I don't know why, but I do not think I will live much longer because of my feelings of these issues. I have always been alone, but things are starting to change. Maybe for the better or the worse. Only time could tell.
I think the reason that they will last longer than me is because they have each other as support. I basically screwed my chances of survival by relying on myself. Even though it has its own benefits, it has serious side-effects.Having others by ones side can help relieve pains and stress. It also make one more outgoing and happy.
I have a new route to take. I will work on my social skills and will move up the ranks. I will try to integrate some of my new ideas into practice. I have decided that I can probably retain what I already know and try to get some support. Even though it might be too late, it will never be too late for me. Starting at 11pm is always better than starting at 2am. I have learned that lesson a long time ago. I can probably put in the ideas of self-reliance with sufficient support. Probably has been done before, but I will try again.