I don't know if it's just me. But as time goes on, I feel like slowly drift into the never ending abyss. Like I said in my last post, I have lost someone special. After learning this, it feels like something died within me and nothing will be the same. Again, I think this is my fault, but I had my own reasoning. Whether the reasoning makes sense or not is a different story. However, I just hope my original plan works, but if it doesn't, there doesn't seem like anything for me here. I learned a great deal from this and that is to spend every moment you can with that one special person in your life. Time goes by fast and every moment counts. I had an idea of that, but I never really took the part seriously.
I also thought that I was prepared for this very thing, but I guess I wasn't. I put in a lot of preparation, but at the end, it was all useless. Maybe because this special person was made for me. Now I just have to wait and be patient. There is nothing else I can do since I was the one who insisted on my crazy idea. I really hope my plan works. If not, then I guess it's over.
I am at a low place right now. As of now, time is doing nothing to heal me. Maybe the special someone was the one and I blew away my opportunity. I know nothing and I failed for the last time. Maybe it's time for me to call it quits.