Well, since I lost the best thing I ever had because of my stupid ways, I must continue forward. Don't get me wrong, I will still admire her, but I must get on with it or I will really fall into some depression. I am sorry about rambling about this stuff since you guys probably heard it a million times by now.
Okay, so I have to start anew. I have to be able to get on somehow, but it is really hard. Like the invisible force, something is blocking me from moving on. Maybe my head is fucking around with me, but I don't really know. So I'll stop rambling and will stop fucking around. I have been reading my previous posts on self-reliance and I think it's the right time to start applying them again. I have taken a year break to figure things out and now I am back with vengeance. All I have to say is fucking " watch out" because I'll be back!