Dead World

Before I start something, I have to say that we all have one life to live. It may sound done, but it is true. That one life we have is short and we have to spend it wisely or else it would truly be a waste. I just wish I never had this life, maybe something else, a more simpler one. However that is not the case, I am living in a hard life where struggles mean grades and schools. That is just not good for me because I have lost a substantial amount of time because of not only procrastination but also addiction. That is not good for me nor anyone else.

A lot of people are probably having the same conditions as me, but I am not sure how to fix it now. I can try adding more hard work into the equation, but I need a formula that could get me more time. Some may say that, doing everything during the right time would mean I would have enough time, but it isn't. I just wish that this year would end happily because my higher education life is depending on it. My family would be disappointed and I would be not respected among the others if I fail. Things are not looking to good anymore and I can't really blame anyone but myself.

I have to start formulating a plan before I fall into a deeper state of depression. Things are not as they seem to be. I am believing that everything is good right now and it isn't. Things are worse than before and I do not how I could be picked up from the shadow. I have already been stabbed by the sword a million times and I need to a new plan right now. I can no longer trust anybody as nobody trusts me.

The truth is that things have been slow around here and it seems that I have been dropped from the recent updates of everything going on. I am now under everyone and in a sub level where I can only keep to myself. This is bad because nobody cares... I learned to trust nobody because nobody cares.. If nobody cares then why should I care... I will only give respect to anyone who gives me a respect. That is how it should work from now on.

Sudden Death Pt.3

Well I decided to go to this school event. I will tell you that it went completely smoothly as my objective of this event was to practice and gain respect from some people. It worked out perfectly but the only problem was that I was only able to be satisfied, I was unable to get anything along the way but that doesn't matter. As long as I was able to complete my initial objective I am satisfied. Now I must say that this idea/concept that I have developed works for me at least pretty much. I will be build more upon it later on but right now I will write a draft on how this concept/idea works so you can use it for next time if you had an event or something. I even took notes on what I did wrong during the events and could take a look at them when the event happens again.

Concept/Idea One By Average Teen
First comes an event or some kind of thing that must be attended towards.
Second Step:You must plan one long-term objective that you know if you complete you would completely satisfied.
Third Step: When you attend the event, you must understand the situation, do five minutes of research.
Fourth Step: To complete the objective effectively and take notes on what you may have did wrong.
Fifth Step: While you are doing the fourth step, you must understand that you should have side focuses as well.
Sixth Step: Enjoy everything you worked for, you deserve it. 

I will elaborate on these steps in a later post but I have accomplished something and fully satisfied. Even though I did not pick up some things along the way I am still satisfied and have notes so I could later improve if this situation arises.

Sudden Death Pt.2

Continuing on from what I have been saying in Part 1 of Sudden Death. I am going to refer back to my post School Event: Concepts/Ideas as I started off with an idea that I have used in Asia to accomplish something. This is going to be confusing and I might make a Part 3 to help the readers to understand.

Now before I went to Asia, I had one thing in my mind. In school I had summer homework assignments and I had a fun trip to Asia. Now I was sitting down on my desk trying to figure out what I was going to do as I wanted to have fun but the thing was I needed to get my work done. So I developed this concept and idea that since I would only go for a month and a half in Asia, when I get back I will finish everything in half a month. I looked at the home work and thought that it couldn't be that much homework. After thinking more about it I knew it was completely going to fail because I knew that I couldn't have any fun if I knew I should have been doing my summer assignments. So I thought of another idea....

It was just an idea that I should just focus on accomplishing one thing during the trip and the two main choices was to get work done or have fun. Now there is something with this focusing on accomplishments idea. It is something that people would always say as they think focusing on something 100% is always good. I on the other hand knew that I couldn't get my work done if I do 50/50. So it was either have fun or finish my homework and I couldn't do homework first and then have fun because I would have missed all the fun and if I chose have fun and then do homework  then it would just be too late at night to do anything because I would be tired. So the idea was to focus on doing one thing right and I will be happy and I would know that I accomplished something. So I decided to have fun and having fun was good. The thing about that was I screwed up because I was still young compared to the others so I learned a lot about having fun so it was still a good accomplishment.

Well the idea would be when going anywhere at all or doing anything, you must always have one goal to do that you must complete to be satisfied. It could be as simple as learning to brush your teeth with your left hand but while you are doing that, you might have a chance of accomplishing something else while you are learning to brush your teeth with your left hand which would be total success. Then your moral has risen and you are totally happy. So that is what I did, I accomplished some of my homework while having fun which was my goal and I was totally happy. I had a good time in Asia while not expecting to finish any of my work but since I did, I was not as depressed as I did now.

While I was on the plane back to the USA, I wanted to apply that idea to something like school. But I screwed up my choices as I wanted to have fun at school. As I had fun I screwed up my grades but was improving but I was sort of happy but I should have chosen to do well at school then having fun. My choice pick was not good and now I am screwed because now I am going to some after school. This is just not a good time for me as everything from now on is going downhill. 

So now what is my decision for after school? Should I saw "FUCK IT" I am going to rock the school while studying or should I say "I WILL STUDY HARD" and have fun on the side? I know that I have tried option one and it failed miserably so I will do option two. I will study and that will me my goal while having my side goal as having fun. This puts me one step ahead of my game. Drastic times calls for DRASTIC MEASURES.. I will be updating to see what happens during my stay in some after school.

One more thing that I am mad at is that I can not attend my school event. I still might have a chance, I was going to test the above concepts to this school event but I guess I have a better test subject to see how it goes. I am a little disappointed in myself and extremely mad at the same time since I allowed it to happen. I will continue adjusting and will see what will happen in the future.

Sudden Death Pt.1

I would have to say it all happened to fast for me to comprehend. I was having discussions with two prominent figures and suddenly, with a lift of a finger, I accepted a lifetime of torture and death taking some kind of after school program. This is most unfortunate news as I have to cancel all my evening plans to get it to my school event. This is just a horrific event for anyone to grasp I guess. This after school supposedly is going to help my academic scores. I am just going to point out now that money does not fix everything. While my results were going positive, I did not have enough concrete evidence to back up my claim that I had everything under control. With no trust or respect towards any of my decisions I am going to have to destroy a lot of things that I built up over the past months and tear them to the ground.

Now I do agree that I should go to the after school, this is a bad time as I finally figured out why I was doing so poorly in classes. I was constantly adjusting and adapting new ideas and concepts until the correct one comes to place. I believe that this after school thing might either rush this process or just put me behind from my real goals. Now I am getting to a depressed state after I built myself up and it just is not any good. My methods and ideas just need time to mature and I did not get enough time, for some reason everybody said that there is never enough time but I would like to say even if I am the first to say that time is plentiful. Things are changing rapidly and I don't think I can swim against the currents that are washing me down. I guess I have to do what everybody has been saying... "Go With The Flow."

I think this is "BullShit!" I don't think after school is anything but a waste of time for me as of now. It might help me now but in the future, I will have to go through everything I have been going through AGAIN. This after school is only a temporary effect. I have made a plan that can make this after school a benefit for me however and all I have to do is think about it....