Nothing to Lose

I think I have hit a point in life where it seems I have nothing left. As I sit in this empty room, I feel like I only have one last move to make before everything is over. I must stay strong though, because I believe this has happened once before in my life. I have been reading my past posts and it shows me what has happened before. It is a guide for me to continue on and to move forward. I don't know how far I can go, but it has to be better than now. It looks like I have to revert back to my old ways and start focusing on what is right. I am nobody's friend and nobody is my friend.

I am alone and only have comrades to count on. I feel like it's really time to start from square one again. But this time, I must do something different, something drastic. This time, I must make real friends and meet real special people who I can care about. I must forget about the past to continue on living the present to move into the future.

Maybe then, I can truly move on.

Dead World

Before I start something, I have to say that we all have one life to live. It may sound done, but it is true. That one life we have is short and we have to spend it wisely or else it would truly be a waste. I just wish I never had this life, maybe something else, a more simpler one. However that is not the case, I am living in a hard life where struggles mean grades and schools. That is just not good for me because I have lost a substantial amount of time because of not only procrastination but also addiction. That is not good for me nor anyone else.

A lot of people are probably having the same conditions as me, but I am not sure how to fix it now. I can try adding more hard work into the equation, but I need a formula that could get me more time. Some may say that, doing everything during the right time would mean I would have enough time, but it isn't. I just wish that this year would end happily because my higher education life is depending on it. My family would be disappointed and I would be not respected among the others if I fail. Things are not looking to good anymore and I can't really blame anyone but myself.

I have to start formulating a plan before I fall into a deeper state of depression. Things are not as they seem to be. I am believing that everything is good right now and it isn't. Things are worse than before and I do not how I could be picked up from the shadow. I have already been stabbed by the sword a million times and I need to a new plan right now. I can no longer trust anybody as nobody trusts me.

The truth is that things have been slow around here and it seems that I have been dropped from the recent updates of everything going on. I am now under everyone and in a sub level where I can only keep to myself. This is bad because nobody cares... I learned to trust nobody because nobody cares.. If nobody cares then why should I care... I will only give respect to anyone who gives me a respect. That is how it should work from now on.