A New Hope

A new time and era is coming for me and this is actually something that can be very exciting. But, I have to be very careful because one wrong step can kill me. I have to be strong by fighting the evil spirits inside me; and not only that, but I have to evaluate each individual to make sure they are okay. These are going to be strange times for me because I have been away from that environment for such a long time. I am not sure how I am going to fit in, especially when I am already depressed.

The things I am doing will determine my future. Everything depends if I enjoy it or not and if I don't, then I am in big trouble. It means my core ideas have been flawed from the start and I will probably have to start over. Since I am very late in my studies, that would not be a good thing so I will have to try my hardest to survive. There will probably be plenty of distractions, but I will have to fight them off to make sure everything is okay.

It's a new hope for me and probably the last chance I will get for a while.

Daily Grind

Since I wasted the whole weekend... I basically have today to just finish up EVERYTHING. I have a lot of stuff to work on and I am not sure if I could finish everything in 11 hours. I am mad because it wasn't suppose to be like this at all. I was suppose to finish some work yesterday and the day before. Now I am screwed and just thinking how I could fix the problem before the dreaded day tomorrow. It just sucks that this always happens to me because it is HORRIBLE. I will make a follow-up post on how to deal with situations like this.

Anyways, I have another social event coming up in the following months. The social event will be for 3 days. It is much bigger than the other one (Sudden Death Pt.3). I will make a concept guide for that one too and will be applying old concepts towards it. I still think I wasted too much money on it because I just did. Things are just terrible and I will see what happens as the days pass.

Crazy People

People have gone crazy, nobody has patience anymore. I have to say that if somebody has patience then they will succeed. Rome was never built in a day, that is something I heard from many people. Parents are not patient and they are crazy, I understand that now. I can no longer trust anybody anymore and information must be much more tighter now. If it means I must check my mailbox everyday or make sure no unnecessary letters are sent out so be it. I will have to organize a private location to hold my goods. Let me say this again, I am not the one who stopped working, I am the one that is reviving work and getting back into the groove of working. If nobody allows me to do it, then I can never get back to the groove of working. This is a problem and I must resolve it immediately, even if it means death, I would gladly trade that for peace and quiet. I must plan ahead for a grim future, so I must think about moving out and living on my own somewhere and building from there. I will not bring my computer, I might sell it and use the public computers at a library or something. Things are not good anymore, but they could be good if patience comes through.

Driving my Blog to success

Well, I am going to prove that without any marketing efforts, I could drive this blog to success. So I am going to say this blog is about my discouraging life and concepts and ideas that I have come up with to help me bypass problems and reach my ultimate goal of happiness. Of course there will still be ideas on life and what is going on with my life but if you can read from my Sudden Death posts, I will be more busier than usual. So I am going to post not only more about my bad life but I will also be posting some helpful information that might actually turn this blog into some sort of Tech Blog or maybe even App Blog. I might make a separate thing for that later though. Anyways time for my current life...

Self-Improvement through self motivation is the game I am trying to play. It is absolutely difficult if there are no incentives but now I do have one and that is my dropped grades at school. So now I have to really force myself to get working or else I would have to work at some factory earning like fifty cents an hour or something. Things are just not looking good now as time passes on. I will have another post saying contradicting  "Time = Fast" I can say that time is slow and I have plenty of it on my side.

Sudden Death Pt.3

Well I decided to go to this school event. I will tell you that it went completely smoothly as my objective of this event was to practice and gain respect from some people. It worked out perfectly but the only problem was that I was only able to be satisfied, I was unable to get anything along the way but that doesn't matter. As long as I was able to complete my initial objective I am satisfied. Now I must say that this idea/concept that I have developed works for me at least pretty much. I will be build more upon it later on but right now I will write a draft on how this concept/idea works so you can use it for next time if you had an event or something. I even took notes on what I did wrong during the events and could take a look at them when the event happens again.

Concept/Idea One By Average Teen
First comes an event or some kind of thing that must be attended towards.
Second Step:You must plan one long-term objective that you know if you complete you would completely satisfied.
Third Step: When you attend the event, you must understand the situation, do five minutes of research.
Fourth Step: To complete the objective effectively and take notes on what you may have did wrong.
Fifth Step: While you are doing the fourth step, you must understand that you should have side focuses as well.
Sixth Step: Enjoy everything you worked for, you deserve it. 

I will elaborate on these steps in a later post but I have accomplished something and fully satisfied. Even though I did not pick up some things along the way I am still satisfied and have notes so I could later improve if this situation arises.

Sudden Death Pt.2

Continuing on from what I have been saying in Part 1 of Sudden Death. I am going to refer back to my post School Event: Concepts/Ideas as I started off with an idea that I have used in Asia to accomplish something. This is going to be confusing and I might make a Part 3 to help the readers to understand.

Now before I went to Asia, I had one thing in my mind. In school I had summer homework assignments and I had a fun trip to Asia. Now I was sitting down on my desk trying to figure out what I was going to do as I wanted to have fun but the thing was I needed to get my work done. So I developed this concept and idea that since I would only go for a month and a half in Asia, when I get back I will finish everything in half a month. I looked at the home work and thought that it couldn't be that much homework. After thinking more about it I knew it was completely going to fail because I knew that I couldn't have any fun if I knew I should have been doing my summer assignments. So I thought of another idea....

It was just an idea that I should just focus on accomplishing one thing during the trip and the two main choices was to get work done or have fun. Now there is something with this focusing on accomplishments idea. It is something that people would always say as they think focusing on something 100% is always good. I on the other hand knew that I couldn't get my work done if I do 50/50. So it was either have fun or finish my homework and I couldn't do homework first and then have fun because I would have missed all the fun and if I chose have fun and then do homework  then it would just be too late at night to do anything because I would be tired. So the idea was to focus on doing one thing right and I will be happy and I would know that I accomplished something. So I decided to have fun and having fun was good. The thing about that was I screwed up because I was still young compared to the others so I learned a lot about having fun so it was still a good accomplishment.

Well the idea would be when going anywhere at all or doing anything, you must always have one goal to do that you must complete to be satisfied. It could be as simple as learning to brush your teeth with your left hand but while you are doing that, you might have a chance of accomplishing something else while you are learning to brush your teeth with your left hand which would be total success. Then your moral has risen and you are totally happy. So that is what I did, I accomplished some of my homework while having fun which was my goal and I was totally happy. I had a good time in Asia while not expecting to finish any of my work but since I did, I was not as depressed as I did now.

While I was on the plane back to the USA, I wanted to apply that idea to something like school. But I screwed up my choices as I wanted to have fun at school. As I had fun I screwed up my grades but was improving but I was sort of happy but I should have chosen to do well at school then having fun. My choice pick was not good and now I am screwed because now I am going to some after school. This is just not a good time for me as everything from now on is going downhill. 

So now what is my decision for after school? Should I saw "FUCK IT" I am going to rock the school while studying or should I say "I WILL STUDY HARD" and have fun on the side? I know that I have tried option one and it failed miserably so I will do option two. I will study and that will me my goal while having my side goal as having fun. This puts me one step ahead of my game. Drastic times calls for DRASTIC MEASURES.. I will be updating to see what happens during my stay in some after school.

One more thing that I am mad at is that I can not attend my school event. I still might have a chance, I was going to test the above concepts to this school event but I guess I have a better test subject to see how it goes. I am a little disappointed in myself and extremely mad at the same time since I allowed it to happen. I will continue adjusting and will see what will happen in the future.

Sudden Death Pt.1

I would have to say it all happened to fast for me to comprehend. I was having discussions with two prominent figures and suddenly, with a lift of a finger, I accepted a lifetime of torture and death taking some kind of after school program. This is most unfortunate news as I have to cancel all my evening plans to get it to my school event. This is just a horrific event for anyone to grasp I guess. This after school supposedly is going to help my academic scores. I am just going to point out now that money does not fix everything. While my results were going positive, I did not have enough concrete evidence to back up my claim that I had everything under control. With no trust or respect towards any of my decisions I am going to have to destroy a lot of things that I built up over the past months and tear them to the ground.

Now I do agree that I should go to the after school, this is a bad time as I finally figured out why I was doing so poorly in classes. I was constantly adjusting and adapting new ideas and concepts until the correct one comes to place. I believe that this after school thing might either rush this process or just put me behind from my real goals. Now I am getting to a depressed state after I built myself up and it just is not any good. My methods and ideas just need time to mature and I did not get enough time, for some reason everybody said that there is never enough time but I would like to say even if I am the first to say that time is plentiful. Things are changing rapidly and I don't think I can swim against the currents that are washing me down. I guess I have to do what everybody has been saying... "Go With The Flow."

I think this is "BullShit!" I don't think after school is anything but a waste of time for me as of now. It might help me now but in the future, I will have to go through everything I have been going through AGAIN. This after school is only a temporary effect. I have made a plan that can make this after school a benefit for me however and all I have to do is think about it....