Focus

It's that time of year again and I still have nothing to show. I've noticed my progress slowing down, and I'm not sure if it's natural or if it's just me. I've have a feeling it's just me and I'm just letting myself down again.

I want to be the best at what I do, because I just want to prove to myself that I can. I want to be so good that it allows me to live how I want to live. It's really all I care about in life—Freedom. I'm not talking about freedom in my later years. I am talking about freedom now and forever. Every decision I make will affect me now and in the long run. It's all about making the right decisions and these days, we not only have to grind hard but grind smart.  It's not just about putting in the work anymore; It's about staying focused too.

It's not easy to be focused and if it were, everyone would be the best. I couldn't help comparing myself to others recently and I knew this was a waste of time. How the fuck can I be focused if I'm thinking of some fucker who's better than me? I need to remind myself that, there will always be someone who is better, so I can get back to working towards my dreams. I need to tell myself that it doesn't matter how others are because I can't control it. I can only control myself and that is what matters.

The moment I realize that the only thing that really matters is myself will be the moment I can finally focus.

Posting??

So I have to say, these past couple of months have been a roller coaster. I am just writing about my experiences and how things are. Everything still sucks and I have been learning a lot lately. I think that at the end of the tunnel, there won't be any night. Only eternal darkness darkness awaits me on the other side. I learned that I can not depend on others because if I do, things will be bad. I must stick to the fundamentals if I am ever to live in this world.

What is striking me now is Staying Focused. For some reason I have lost grasp of humanity and might just give up because I don't have the impressive resume for other people to see. This has been going through a lot of people's minds. I have one thing to say though...

Screw the others because they could worry all they want. We only have one life to live and I know you guys heard this like a million times already. Nobody can have what they want. I have learned that the hard way. I tried to get what I want and what I get is poor results. I think I just wanted too much and I have failed at the end. I lost faith in myself and when I should be catching up, I am slacking off. The way to fix this is just to go Cold Turkey. I have thought of ways... Work Ethics and Solutions. However, if one gives up then, one gives up forever. I NEED TO STAY FOCUSED or else I won't make it alive.

I have to say though, people don't see a good opportunity right in front of them. They sometimes have to take a bus to a middle of nowhere and find a small coffee shop to sit in. I want to do that one day, I just want to forget about all my problems and take a bus to a middle of nowhere. At least over there I could commit an act and nobody would ever know. I wouldn't even have to worry about it. 

I never believed in this blog and I still don't. I just write to report in on what I see and want to stay consistent. I have seen other kinds of similar things and they always fail to keep updated with their readers. It pisses me off because it seems that if one doesn't post anything, they have succeeded. They don't tell anyone though. For me, I will never succeed.