Focus

It's that time of year again and I still have nothing to show. I've noticed my progress slowing down, and I'm not sure if it's natural or if it's just me. I've have a feeling it's just me and I'm just letting myself down again.

I want to be the best at what I do, because I just want to prove to myself that I can. I want to be so good that it allows me to live how I want to live. It's really all I care about in life—Freedom. I'm not talking about freedom in my later years. I am talking about freedom now and forever. Every decision I make will affect me now and in the long run. It's all about making the right decisions and these days, we not only have to grind hard but grind smart.  It's not just about putting in the work anymore; It's about staying focused too.

It's not easy to be focused and if it were, everyone would be the best. I couldn't help comparing myself to others recently and I knew this was a waste of time. How the fuck can I be focused if I'm thinking of some fucker who's better than me? I need to remind myself that, there will always be someone who is better, so I can get back to working towards my dreams. I need to tell myself that it doesn't matter how others are because I can't control it. I can only control myself and that is what matters.

The moment I realize that the only thing that really matters is myself will be the moment I can finally focus.

Persist

I wrote this blog for me and anyone who is crazy enough to tag along. Every post represents a snapshot of my state of mind in a particular point in time. I write whenever I need to self-reflect and I thank anyone who takes their time to read my thoughts. My only hope is that it is worth your time. It's funny, because I am only a distraction if this blog wastes your time. So I encourage anyone who find this blog a waste of time to leave for your own good. I want you to forge your own path of success and to be able to tell everyone to fuck off.

Here are for those of you who find this blog somewhat useful:

This blog is directionless like my life. It is all over the place with my pointless thoughts and rambling. There is no focus. I've been working tirelessly for the past year to better myself and everything came tumbling down this week. I don't know what it is, but my mind has just shut down and refuses to do what I want to do. The craziest thing is that whenever I think about it, I don't even know what to do. 

Is that how you are feeling now?

Well, here's my plan:

I will take a step back and evaluate my situation. I must remember what is important and work towards it. Time is a major factor and I must not waste it. I must continue to do what works and discard what doesn't. I must be persistent.

It is the only way to succeed.

Fifth Follower

It's been forever since my first follower and last week, I finally got my fifth follower which completes one of my blog goals. Not that it really matters or anything, but I would like to take a step back and appreciate it. I started this blog from nothing and it's still trash. It has nothing that a professional blog has and I haven't been really writing anything useful. I have not achieved anything meaningful in life which means this blog guarantees nothing to help anyone. I am barely making it out there.

I just write what's on my mind which has always been the case. It's just lately that I haven't been able to write what I think. I haven't been thinking straight because I have my head up my ass. I need to get it out and slap myself silly before it's too late. 

Thanks for following :) 

Nothing Matters

Nothing fucking matters. Nobody gives a fuck about you or me because nothing matters. Nothing matters because most of the shit in life don't matter. It is only YOU who can make it matter. If something matters, then put your energy into it until it doesn't matter anymore. It might take days, months, or even forever, but you gotta do it. If you don't, then it truly doesn't matter.

I am saying all this because a lot of bad shit has been happening to me, but I don't give a fuck because it doesn't matter. There are only a few things that matter TO ME and that is the stuff I should really be focused on. If I focused on the things that don't matter, then I would just be wasting my time.

Find out what matters and what doesn't. Focus on the things that do matter because that's the only way to succeed.

Too Much To Do

There are so many things to master. 

But, how can I master them all? 

The answer is you cannot.  

There is a time in life when one must choose a skill to master. Some may never encounter this time, because they miss it or disregard it. However, I have realized that now is my time to make a decision. In the past, I would delay this decision like an an idiot, but now that I am older, I have to force myself to do it. Kind of sad because it seems that many don't take the opportunity to take advantage. Since I am still relatively young, I have a few options left open for me. One of them is where I can be great at a skill and another is where I become decent at everything. However, I am in strong belief that the latter option comes with a price. 

And that price is, I would become the: Jack of all trades, but master of none.

Now I know I am too late to be a master. Not everyone can be Kobe Bryant or Bruce Lee. But, I do realize that I can still be very good. I am constricted by time because the clock is constantly ticking. Every second I am not honing my skills is wasted. Every second I try focus on new things is wasted. However, that doesn't mean I shouldn't try new things. It just means that I shouldn't waste too much time on it, if I am not serious. For me, I have already wasted years by doing nothing. 

So the question becomes if I want to be a master of one trade or nothing? 

I don't like the notion of becoming a master of just one trade. This is very limiting and doesn't help one see further. I believe in the fundamentals. Mastering the fundamentals is the key to mastering a skill because a good foundation is the key to any good house. So every time I learn a new subject, I go to the basics.

So I made a plan. 

My goal is to be fundamentally strong at the things I like. Not necessarily the best, but respectable. I might not be able to master them, but I won't give up without a fight. This is the number one problem with people who want to get ahead. They give up too quickly. I have three enemies, time, myself, and distractions. Since time is my biggest enemy, I will have to fight against it. After this post, I will only focus on the things that will help me achieve my goals. To prove that I can be good at everything without sacrificing another skill. 

It will be hard, but I cannot give up.

I encourage all of you reading to stop wasting time and do the things you want to do. Never stop trying! If you do, then you will never make it. 

Invisible Force

There is an invisible force that is keeping me from doing heavy work. I still do not know what it is, but it is annoying. I wish I could just tear the wall down and move on. I have wasted too much time doing nothing and should be starting. This weekend was supposed to be a time of focus, but so far it has turned into some kind of joke. I must find this invisible force and attack it down to the ground. If I do not, then I know it may be the end of me.

There is nothing much to say on this blog anymore.

Japan

I wish Japan with the best of luck. The Nuclear Radiation is becoming more and more of a problem which isn't a good thing.

If anyone would donate, it would be for a good cause.

Deductive Reasoning

I have lost something important and I am trying my best to recover it. I have written a series of things I remember on when I saw this item. It should be helping, but there is only one problem. The problem is the transitional phases between the events. I can not figure out what happened between the events and where the object may have been during those periods of time. I also can not figure out how I remember one major event which was putting it on the floor before dozing off. It doesn't seem to make sense. Maybe that part was some kind of illusion and I never really did that. I remember doing it, so I concluded that it should be in the house, but it isn't. Something went wrong somewhere and it is my job to figure it out. There are three possibilities and I hope one of the three isn't true.

I also reported this to some people I know and as a strange response, I get a callback from a strange number. I do not pick up because I do not have a mic so I do not know who it is. I want to find out though because they may have the answers to my problem. Things are getting stranger by the minute and I need to start studying or I will fail my examination tests to pass to the next levels of life.

Night Studies

I really hope it's worth it. I think it is and I can pull it off, all I need is just a few things and then study for a couple of hours. However, I must prepare or I will not succeed as I wanted to. I am already a couple of hours late, so it is time to catch up or else I will fall into the same hole like last time. This time I will succeed.

Good People And Third Follower

Another step forward I see and my goal towards five is coming more apparent. I have a feeling that slow improvement is on its way after a huge slide down hill to hell. However, it might just be a dream because slow improvement only works 50% of time. Only depends if I am not half dead and tired before I start improving.

Today, I learned that not all the people in the world seek to kill me. I learned that some people are actually really helpful and has done me a huge favor. With this, I have learned to share and care for the rest of the community as that person with me. There are actually a few decent people left in this world and you guys can now consider me as one of them. I always already considered myself helpful, but I have turned to the dark side recently. Now that I have regained the vision to a brighter light, I understand that it does not matter if the other person does not pay me back. As long as he remembers the deed I have done and would maybe potentially help another that may struggle. This is a lesson I learned from a friend that I have just remembered too.

I have to re-define some of my concepts as they are becoming outdated. I also need to post them here so most of you guys could just take a quick glance on it. My system has become worn out and needs some adjustment to fit the criteria of the new world that is out there.

I don't know what I am talking about. I guess I will make another post that will justify this one. Anyways, I want to say "Hello" to my third follower. I still can't believe that I have kept this Blog up for this long. I usually do not like Blogs at all, but as long as I have this up, I am now known as a hypocrite or something like that.

Going With The Flow...

This is the second time I messed up a plan. I always think things through before going through something big. However, the first time I did think of the plan and executed, I found out that whatever I planned had completely failed which made my life miserable. I told myself to go with the flow and the next time I actually went with the flow and everything worked out perfectly. I was going to continue this trend, but today, I had a feeling that I should have went with the flow, but then I decided against it and it happened to me again. My plan had completely failed and I feel miserable now.

Whenever you think something horrible is going to happen, you should go through with it because its better than just avoiding it. That happened to me today and it makes me feel so bad because I wasted time. I also think that I lost people's respect. This is horrible because I didn't screw up the second time, but the third time, I just completely went against myself and pretty much didn't learn from my first mistake. So, yea it is better to confront something than avoid it. It makes people learn and move forward.

I have no idea what I just wrote, but I will do a follow-up in a future post regarding this. I make no sense and if you were able to follow me, then wow. My final words for you now is to go with the flow, you never know where the river might take you. I went against it and I drowned to death, tomorrow is going to be a rough day.