I have discovered a terrible pattern in my progression towards my goals. It has been slow and inefficient compared to others whom have progressed much further and faster. What I take a year to learn, should take a few months. Projects people finish in a week, I just seem to give up on. This is unacceptable and I want to change for the better. How are others learning so fast while I am learning so slow?
Take a look at this:
Re-Organization
I am amazed something I wrote five years ago is still relevant today. I followed my guide the best I could, but only applied the concepts partially. I also fucked my mind in the process by implementing a more inefficient strategy of thinking. I seriously need a tune-up on how to think and "learn" better. The problem lies in a few different areas. They include lack of mental energy, inability to change, and the lack of focus.
The lack of energy is most likely from my lack of sleep recently. I need to realize that sleep is very important because without it, I become a zombie. The surplus of
energy in my youth even after a few nights of no sleep cannot be fully replicated unless I build a system that can support that. The way to fix this is that anytime I feel tired, I must take a nap. If it gets too late, I must consider sleep as an option as opposed to study. Any study I do after the realization of needing sleep is wasted because my memory cannot retain it. The other option includes play in the form of practice. This could work because no memory is needed, but if I am too tired, then sleep is an absolute must.
The other reason for the lack of mental energy is from the lack of food. I need to make sure that I get a good supply of food when I am hungry. Without food, I am completely useless.
My inability to change is a huge detriment to my development. I am very stubborn in terms of my thinking, so I usually think my way is the best way. My ideas consist of doing everything the hard way and that includes not asking for help. I think doing things the hard way helps me understand the fundamentals of a subject better so the harder things become easier later on. More mistakes are usually made and these mistakes are experiences I can draw upon.
I realized doing things the hard way is not always the right way to go about everything. Some technologies, like the GPS, exist to make our lives more simple. Things like the compiler and the assembler make it easy for a programmer to write code so they don't have to write bytecode. I sometimes think about writing the bytecode myself because it might improve my understanding, but in the long run, it is just tedious and inefficient. I take this overboard on everything I do because I think I need to KNOW the basics before I understand. This usually causes me to lose focus on my goal and actually moves me
backwards.
I need to be able to adapt and see things in both lights. The hard way and the easy way. Sometimes one is better than the other and I need to recognize which is better to bring out the best results.
I have been trying to follow my
plan to the best of my abilities, but I have approached it the wrong way. I want to get good at multiple things, but it seems like I have been distributing my focus instead of keeping it whole. I need to do things one thing at a time in order to be good. Sometimes I do something while thinking about another. When I am doing something, I must focus on that thing only. I cannot have distractions getting in the way or else my efforts are wasted.
I sometimes fall into a state of disarray for no reasons at all. I just lose my head at times and fall into a
slump. It may be my brain telling me to take a break, but when I do, it seems like I can never snap out of it. This is a weakness.
The only thing going for me is persistence which keeps me going. Without it, I will be all over the place. I need to limit myself to one activity at a time and with persistence, once I finish a task, I can move on to another.
The only way to move forward is to adapt and survive.
